Poem: Left Alive

If we, the unloved knew beginning in childhood that we’d live the majority of our adult lives alone haunted by failed love. Would there be any of us still left alive? I wonder.

Poem: Cupid’s Arrow (haiku in 8 variations)

1)Sometimes the arrow’s pointed sweetly straight, true mate last chance romance fate 2)Sometimes the arrow’s poisoned, replaying karma programmed on heartache 3)Sometimes the arrow’s a time machine of sorrow repeating drama 4)Sometimes the arrow’s over-flowing with bright hope illogically 5)Sometimes the arrow’s misaimed to the wrong target unrequited love 6)Sometimes the arrow’s a sadist trickster…

Poem: Happiness

(For Spencer) And I knew that they were magic while they were happening my moments of happiness with you

Poem: To have loved

They say it’s better to love and lose your head your mind your heart your body Drunk on love but for now my soul disagrees. Too many endings in just this one lifetime makes my spirit weary Sick of hope.

Poem: Love #1

It would always Be between us. Hardly ever neutral Scalding or freezing Fighting or loving Ruptures of trust Everyday we Rebuilt the sacrifice Remodeled it Reanimated it reframed it renamed it our fools’ gold paradise naively waiting for a sign a different ending. The happiness lasted throughout underneath and despite the arguments was us in…

Poem: When I was engaged to be married the first time

I didn’t know there’d be 2 more proposals and no marriages. Every decade or so I meet a partner that I’m convinced Is the One Until he’s gone And then we’re both left crying After all the useless trying. It seems so incredibly rare To work the details out Solve the puzzle Reverse the doomed…

Poem: Freedom

(For Spencer) Twin souls never stand a chance They were never meant to dance on Earth enraptured. Because it awakens jealousies when we usurp them circumnavigate the rote purpose dare to oppose their version of status conscious happiness. When souls disengage from pretend when we unfriend the robotics replace the screen with the actual. activate…

Poem: fool’s school

(to steve, the space cowboy) I loved you like I loved my dad both of you are such sad villains. Does handsomeness cause commitment phobia? For aeons long you were a jerk pervert, sadist predator hunter. Twenty years gone and you’re still playing the same recycled game of loss singing the same dead end refrain….

Poem: Tiny Angels

(for JJ my angel) Raised from a star Ascended from afar a tiny angel grew from a wish. He swam like a guppy a somersaulting puppy like laughter inside me. He lived in my belly womb in soft water globe glow floating in microscopic white light embryonic micro-macro-cosmic reflected infinite love in miniature swirled in…

Poem: god of man pose

I found a prize a booby trap a trick of the light through lanterns. I am innocenced a night flight firefly candle epic within the minuscule a roaring whisper mantle with magical ocean illusion invoked illustration hold the shell rose close to your ear hart and believe in waves lapping swooning into the grasping wandering…

Poem: (Wait) Trust in Fate

Wait anticipate the miracle of fate a savored song ages long in earth time sorrow but just a second in cosmic tomorrow. Salivate like buttercups drunk on sun. Be innocence to re-experience the inner solar magic golden tripled temples smiling into one. Prepare for a surprise unlike ever was or will become. The distance and…

Poem : kind of Funny, wait for it

  For Steve the wicked, sexy cat, who broke my heart and more than that This fork in the world where you go left and I go right is where we finally part and never meet again in truth or sorrow. Never dare to kiss or miss me this dharma train moves only forward. You’ve…

Poem: is it you?

  https://unsplash.com/@eddyvanduijn For Spencer (This poem was written September 5, 2003, revised 1/12/19) How many more must leave? ben david and now steve How many more must I love before all good byes are over? How much more do I have to offer? How much more hope is left? Is this what it’s all about?…

Poem: Spencer’s xmas Tree

Our plastic Xmas tree, the rare time that evil plastic is the hero! His eyes were crinkled like Santa Claus when he smiled even though he was young his soul was old ancient in time like mine. One Christmas he carried a 6ft live tree letting needles prick him for endless sidewalks, maybe 10 blocks…

Poem: Unrequited (haiku in 9 variations)

1) It feels like high school When I was a super fool Unrequited crush 2) Why does a crush hurt? Disappointment feels like loss Though it’s not real love 3) Imaginary Dreaming a future never Hope wasted pretend. 4) Peered eyes to my eyes Said I want to be just friends Nothing more again. 5)…

Poem: Self-love is the Cure for Narcissism

I love you, Judy Love your blue shadow play High browed golden laughter Love your fear of mosquitoes Your bleeding glass diamonds Your everlasting tears Your wanton lightning strike Your broken struggle Your falling into waking up Your purple root heart karma.

Poem: Tenderness

(For David T. who loved the unloveable in me) Maybe I never learned that I was good enough but with David I allowed it tenderness. He’s gone because I gave up I betrayed him and he was the kindest knight I ever loved but he was beyond my known beyond what I could trust I…

Poem: Genie Bottle

Bring you in a genie bottle drink you like elixir stand in full throttle laughing’s life’s surprise. I want you aging backwards reclaim your innocence our voices imitating rivers and flowers float into the space of your eyes enter your still silent gaze.    

Poem: Ambush

Why is it sudden fear Straitjacket atmosphere Disguise the surprise It hurts more than I thrill to surmise Your paradise is full of snakes.