Privacy

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I value my privacy so why do I blog about personal experiences, publish telling poems and reveal my intimate truths? Because I’m a crazy writer without protective boundaries.

I recently watched a fictional series on Netflix called, “You” it’s about a creepy clerk who becomes an online stalker of a naive, writer/poet who has her entire lifestyle online. It sufficiently creeped me out.

I started thinking that all my acquaintances and coworkers could read my blog anonymously, which feels kind of creepy. Followers aren’t creepy because they’re often also writers, the really cool ones like your posts, add comments and create community with you. Having an active audience makes your blog worthwhile in my opinion.

But reading a blog without subscribing to it is spectatorship, a form of non-participation. We as creators put ourselves on the line. We’re out in the open, exposed bare, sharing our truths, perceptions and art; which is a brave act especially for sensitive, introverted creatives. Why do we do it? The hope of fame? I doubt any of us will become famous from blogging; most of us aren’t professionals, we write for free.

Blog writing is a DIY act of love of writing and community. There’s no exchange of money here; the exchange is conversation and connection. So to read a blog without following it, is a one way street of consumption, not communication or collaboration.

When I was young enough to get away with going to a nude beach I did, but only once with my hippie, burning man boyfriend. We went to Baker Beach a clothing optional public beach in San Francisco. There were mostly couples, and young hippies there. The beach was loosely designated in areas; there was a seperate side for those looking for sex. We were in the non-sexual zone, by the volley ball players, sunbathing and reading, like at any other beach.

Then this ox bull overweight man started posing in front of me. He was completely naked but with a cock ring on his testicles. He was black, stocky and had an average sized penis, nothing worth the peacock strutting and posing he displayed continually in front of me. No matter where I turned, he moved to stand in front of my gaze like a fat man eclipse. My boyfriend and I were both so grossed out by him that we left the beach. It was kind of funny but more gross than amusing.

Worse than Mr Cockring were the male voyeurs that patrolled the beach. They oddly wore long sleeved clothing, (including jackets), dark black clothes on a sweltering beach. They carried cameras like perverted sight seekers photographing all the naked sun worshippers. Something about that stark contrast of naked openness with the overdressed porno patrol, armored with clothes and weaponized with cameras. It was probably what the conquerors thought when they saw the natives in near nakedness. The conquerors used the naked people as property. They didn’t want to share or learn or emulate. They came to stare, lust after, rape and enslave their naked purity and vulnerability.

So I’ve unpublished previous poems and stories (made them private). Everyone who subscribes, likes or comments, thank you! I’m grateful for your insight and support.

If you’re reading my blog without following it, stop reading my blog in secret. Show up and be seen. Don’t be a creepy voyeur!

22 Comments

  1. sadiewolf2014 says:

    Hi, I only watched the first episode, too scary! I feel safe here though on WordPress! All the best, Rachel

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sadie, I watched the 1st season of “You”, it was well written, (some parts very cheesy) but overall creeped me out enough to censor my online presence. WordPress is cool but I’m still limiting what I share online, (too much information seems dangerous).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are some creatures here who will take screen shots of your comments with others and save them. I’ve received emails from people who don’t follow my blog, like anything or leave comments. It’s insane but a byproduct of fucked-up minds. I am with you. There are personal things I will never write about because of such leeches. Excellent, Judy!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it’s a weird thing, maybe they want to anonymously comment because they’re afraid? but it seems very odd.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s twisted, whatever the reason.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. A fellow writer and blogger friend of mine who lives in Vancouver was avidly stalked by one of her readers.

    She used the experience to write a thriller novel about a writer and blogger who’s stalked by one of her readers.

    A novel she intends to publish on Amazon (she’s already written and published several well selling novels on Amazon).

    I had a stalker 15 years ago when I was a blogger at a blogging site called Journalspace.

    He was an Aleister Crowley admirer and practicing Satanist who lived in San Francisco and didn’t like the on-line vampire novel I was writing.

    I finally got rid of him when a writer-blogger friend of mine who lives in Port Elizabeth South Africa and I wrote a series of stories making fun of his manhood.

    He didn’t like the bad publicity and being made a laughing stock of so he left the site.

    Another blogger-writer friend of mine who works for DARPA (a U.S. government military agency that has been the subject of numerous books and movies) was one day questioned about his friendship with me by some Men In Black looking government operatives that showed up in his office one day.

    They asked him if he knew why the Intelligence Service of The Islamic Revolutionary Guard of the Islamic Republic of Iran was following my blog.

    He of course had no idea why.

    And it came as news to me that the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard Intelligence Service was following me.

    Back about 2012 or 2013 or 2014, I did get a notification from WordPress that the English Language Radio Service of the Islamic Republic of Iran were now following my blog.

    So maybe possibly that English Language Radio Service is a branch of Iran’s Intelligence Service.

    In which case, they are not following my blog anonymously.

    I don’t know why they would be following me for political purposes as I rarely write about Iran in my vampire novel (although I do occasionally write about Israel, Turkey, Syria and the Middle East).

    I’d personally like to think that as a country who produced writers and poets the likes of Omar Khayyam and Rumi, they just read my blog because they enjoy reading good literature.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s pretty intense Dracul, the world has become more insane than it was. At least your friend created a novel from the stalking experience. Writers use what they know! Funny about the Crowley fan, making fun of his manhood (sounds hilarious). Scary to hear about the Men in Black visit, all those govt schemes give me the creeps. Maybe you’re scaring them into following you for research purposes, your parody is making somebody nervous perhaps.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what my friend Daniel figured- that I was making somebody nervous with my parody.

        During the 18 months that I was homeless and I had to use the Calgary Public Library system to write my blog on their computers, one day towards the end of that time, two librarians approached me, seized my library card and told me that I was now banned from the library for using their computers to write a blog.

        And I thought at the time, WTF? Totally Orwellian and bizarre.

        Fortunately I managed to get into the City of Calgary Community Housing program for low-income people.

        And then a woman I ran into a restaurant and I told her my story of losing my apartment in Vancouver because I could no longer afford the rent and couldn’t find a job out there and then my experience with the Calgary Public Library system, she was so moved, she bought me an iPhone as well as a year’s subscription paid ahead of time for mobile phone service so that I could write my blog on it.

        The phone service subscription has since run out and then one of the neurotic twits in my community house (who mercifully has since been kicked out) poured water all over my iPhone so I’d no longer be able to use the house’s free Wi-Fi.

        Fortunately my sister had mailed me a Samsung Galaxy tablet for my birthday a few months earlier so I’m still able to do my writing on that.

        Like

      2. That’s strange. I worked for many libraries and writing a blog is not a reason to ban someone from the library. Some patrons get violent or destroy public property, that’s why they get banned. Libraries are the last refuge for homeless people, staff treat them like anyone else, rich or poor. The homeless are welcome to stay all day/night until close. Anyway, good luck to you Dracul.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thêa says:

    Why is there always some people who are creepy, sick, mean et cetera!? *sighing*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, maybe we’re seeing more creeps because with overpopulation, there’s more of them to go around to harass the rest of us.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with you on the dangers of being open online about your experiences and thoughts. I have long tried to keep a barrier between my personal life and my creative work just because the conversations I am able to have on a creative level doesn’t always automatically implies that I want to interact on a personal level. I have always maintained a strict distance between my different worlds. As for the series, “You”, what is more disturbing than the stalker/serial killer protagonist’s thought process is the fact how so many people online found him not just likable but worthy of a crush and a potential romantic partner! That’s what I found most sickening. When I saw this series, I hated, hated Joe. And, yes, Beck had her faults but she didn’t “deserved it”, like most people online have been claiming. And what a shock, that they all happen to be men. 🙄
    Anyway, I am going off on a tangent here. This is a great post, Judy and I completely agree with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It would be easier for fiction writers to retain anonymity but the nature of my writing is memoir which is innately personal; it’s a tightrope walk to balance what’s worth sharing and what’s too exposing. About the series, “You” it’s amazing that the online comments were pro Joe, the psychotic! I think the writers were going for the anti hero theme with him but many people don’t seem to have a natural moral compass. It was creepy how the little boy also helped Joe to kill Beck when she was trying to escape. Too many gray areas perhaps encouraged the audience to feel sympathy or even empathy with Joe. He represented the intelligent working class vs the obnoxious, upper class snobs that Beck wanted to be. Maybe like “the Great Gatsby”, but I found Joe super creepy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think Dexter from the eponymous TV series was more an antihero than Joe ever could be. His intentions from the get go were narcissistic and psychopathic. Even the way he helps the boy always made me think

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes very creepy “help”

        Like

  6. Ugh.. typing from the phone’s WP… Never a good idea! Anyway, Beck might have been a high-society-dwelling wannabe but never once did Joe’s intentions toward her were anything less than predatory. He loved her neediness. It egged him on as opposed to the woman who later on becomes his girlfriend. She was strongly independent and that’s what made her uninteresting to him.

    I have seem to launched myself into a monologue within my own head. I am sorry. What I meant to say was that I really loved your post. I shall shut up now and get on with drinking my tea that’s gone half cold! Cheers! 😛😁💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you, he wanted to control Beck, perfect her, as if that was his role as her hero, to “rescue her” from her “bad” choices. The other girlfriend wasn’t complicated, nothing for him to fix.

      I enjoy your comments, sparks more thoughts in my brain thank you😊. Sorry about the tea, good idea sounds cozy. I’m going to make some too🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love your posts and views too! Keep on writing! 💕🤗☕

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks so much! I super appreciate connecting with you here, exchanging opinions and ideas. 🤗⚘❤

        Liked by 1 person

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