Poem: is it you?

 

https://unsplash.com/@eddyvanduijn

For Spencer

(This poem was written September 5, 2003, revised 1/12/19)

How many more must leave?

ben david and now steve

How many more must I love

before all good byes are over?

How much more do I have to offer?

How much more hope is left?

Is this what it’s all about?

Do people, friends and lovers

all cycle out?

Brave and open

today is forever

because we’re together

we’ve made a church of our bodies

today is all we have.

The future is leaving without us

new memories too

because we turn

keep burning through

recycling reality

we corner doors that will not open again.

I’ll remember you

from afar and through candles

love you like loving stars

love you like loving god

that touches through everything and none.

Sorrow comes

because I can’t see you anymore

can’t touch

can’t sleep in your arms

can’t hear you speak or sing

you’re gone

almost as if you hadn’t existed.

But here is a locket left

your hair is soft

tucked in my pocket

a feather of proof

that I once loved and was loved.

Doubt waits like Orpheus

in the tomb grieving.

Death is this way

irretrievably gone.

I have these remembrances

your sword

your eyekiss

your self as a poem

what you and I knew

like nothing before

or ever again.

That you accepted poverty

as well as abundance

the dark and the light in me and you

we’re two sides of a coin.

I do not know what to do with these

tokens and promises

I cannot give them away

because they’re yours

given to me in safe keeping

given to me with joy.

What can I do with these elusives

these vouchers of redemption?

How can I honor them without feeling burdened?

Will you return to retrieve them

in another lifetime?

Again we meet here in this forest

I’ve wandered so long here remembering

again we find each other

as lover, friend, family

each time we say,

“Treasured heart, is it you?”

we exchange vows and part into the mystery.

It’s dark and the moon is shaded gray with shadows

I follow your voice through the rustle of trees

Is it you my love?

Or is it the leaving again,

another false rendezvous

a miraged hologram message.

For you are somewhere else

someone else

your body is a copy

and will not last for always

your body is another face

for me to memorize

recognize

cherish

and let the changing come.

You see each time I’ve named you

the game it starts again

again amnesia

again Maya

again role reversal

again a promise

again a dying

again trying

to take a stand for love.

Does the separation

make each reunion better?

Does it?

Each time are we more

Beloved?

Do we come closer?

I must believe this,

it’s my last remnant of you.

Til Time is no longer

an obstacle

and Space is no longer

away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comments

  1. syl65 says:

    Ultra beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you kind poet for your generous compliment

      Like

      1. syl65 says:

        You’re welcome, Judy.

        Liked by 1 person

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